Get the Monkey Off Your Back

Over seven years ago, I started working on a counted cross stitch piece of a Christmas stocking, and I originally wanted to complete it as part of my 30 by 30 challenge.

I think I originally started this with the intention of giving this to my sister for my nephew... but as mentioned in my 30by30 post, I bit wayyyy more off than I realized. So I half-assed worked on it.

I started it in early 2013, completed maybe 15% of it, and then life happened and it remained untouched for 5 years.  During those 5 years, I had zero time for hobbies as I was studying or networking for my new job.

Luckily, things calmed down in 2018, and a friend posted a "Kill the Monkey" challenge for the end of 2018.  The basic gist is - what is that one thing that you left unfinished, that one that stopped you from moving forward, because it was unfinished?

This popped up, clearly, as my Monkey.

But this time, the challenge group helped me estimate how long it would take me to complete.  I counted the remaining pieces of thread, and knowing that it took an hour per two strands (or 3 hours per one cluster of thread), and that I had 100 clusters remaining, I knew this would take 300 hours of my time to complete.  That was not doable in 90 days, but it was doable in 12 months. I just needed to complete 6 strings of thread per week to achieve my goal, and if I could get through 1-2 strings at a time, that required only 3-4 days or so of effort on my part.

But I kept slogging away at it, week after week.  Some weeks I was more productive, others I barely touched it.

And with 2 months to spare, I killed my monkey, on Sunday, October 27, 2019.

As my nephew is already 7 years old and has had his own Christmas stocking all this time, I decided to keep it for myself.  But instead of embroidering my name, I decided on 100%, for two reasons:

1. I am 100% perfect the way I am
2. I just took a DNA test, turns out I'm 100% that bitch. (lyrics by Lizzo)

I'm not sure how I feel after finishing it. I thought I would feel more elated, more weight-less, as in a weight taken off my shoulders or chest now that I finally finished this nagging piece, but I feel kinda the same.

And that's OK.  Because I committed to finishing something, I analyzed how much time it would take, and I gave myself a VERY reasonable deadline to finish it in... and every week, I kept re-upping my promise.

And I finished it.

No more monkey on my back... and now I'm open to the next project!

37

It's a few days until my next birthday (37!?!?!), and I spent all morning re-reading my past blog posts documenting my experience of tackling a bucket list of 30 items in the 3 months leading up to my 30th birthday... and then I promptly started reading the next set of blog posts documenting 30 things to do now that I had turned 30... and it hit me, with perfect 20/20 hindsight, that all that self-exploration, fun discovery and writing/blogging culminated with changing my career path, leaving all my friends behind, and moving to Florida.  

So now, seven years later, I find it interesting, fascinating, humbling, and incredible that one idea turned into a crazy journey with a major decision that led to struggles and challenges of a magnitude I would never have predicted, which resulted in another major decision in January of 2017 where I decided to move from West Palm Beach to Tampa, and how that decision resulted in changing my career path AGAIN, and how that led to me ending up living my best friggin life on St Pete Beach...

All because of an idea I had to accomplish some bucket list items and for accountability reasons, share it with the world.  And how that "simple" challenge resulted with fun, life-changing, self-realizing moments, and I WANT TO DO IT AGAIN.

Honestly, I wish I had blogged more throughout the past six years, but I think I was scared of writing about my struggles.  It's easier to write and share your highlight reel, but for several years I went through a lot of work, not a lot of fun, a bit of depression, a lot of frustration, a lot of crying, a lot of wine (more about that later), and feeling like I was in an endless cycle of working so hard, not being successful, and continuing to work harder because that should solve the problem.  My income was decreasing, and I kept trying, and I was awful at my job (a sales role, and I am not a sales person). 

Looking back, I needed that experience to help me land the amazing role I have now... but it was awful slugging through it.  My self-worth was chipped away to non-existent.  I am still working on building back my confidence, self-love, and knowledge that I AM ENOUGH.  But I'm slowly getting back to Freaking Out With Joy.

They say life is full of ups and downs... and it's true.  While my life might look like a lot of up's right now, know that I struggled through some awful times for several years... you might not know that based on the highlight reel I posted during those years, but I did.  I actually ended up being diagnosed with depression, and I probably had been depressed for a lot longer than I thought, but was self-medicating with wine.

I'm proud of myself for fighting through it.  I'm proud that I didn't quit, and I kept trying my hardest to make that sales role work.  I'm proud that I finally realized that I wasn't a failure, but that I needed to pivot. I was not in the best role for me, the role that maximizes my talents and skills, and that it's OK to not be successful at everything you try to tackle. Not everything fits for you, and THAT IS OK.  Not everyone can do the role you are successful in.  That's why this world is beautiful. 

This journey I've been on has led me to a place where I am beyond happy.  Where my soul is nourished. Where I am starting to be at peace with myself.  I still have hard days, and moments of self-doubt, and still self-sabotage, but blogging about my journey, I remind myself of what I need to be thinking of, and be aware of, and I am constantly working on trying to be a better version of ME.

Tips for getting out of bed in the morning to get your sweat on

You want to get up earlier so you can workout, or get to work earlier, or have time to enjoy the morning, or any other number of reasons.

But it’s SO HARD to do, am I right?!? Your bed is super comfy, and it's cold out, or rainy, or dark, or you're still tired because you went to bed later than you anticipated. So you press snooze and lie to yourself "just five more minutes!" but then you keep pressing snooze, and then you finally have to get up because now you REALLY need to get up or you'll be late.

I get it. These are just a few of the reasons I personally used to get a few more minutes of sleep. But I also realized that by doing this,  I was hindering progress towards achieving my goals.  It's easy to say "Oh I'll do it after work today," but more times than not, I end up not doing it, as there is always an errand to do, or someone invites me out for dinner/drinks, or I'm just plain tired from a long day and all I want to do is veg.

So over the years, I've developed tactics that help me help myself.  Here are my tips and tricks for getting up and out of bed early in the morning:

1.  Set multiple alarms. This might seem like a simple tip, but it works for me. I have several alarms on my phone, as well as on my Fitbit and with my Sonos speakers. The Sonos alarm is great, as I have it play an upbeat, motivational playlist that makes me want to dance (and thus, get out of bed!). 

2. Make the sun rise earlier.  Not seriously! Your body's natural alarm clock tends to wake up with the sun, but if you need to get up before the sun does, it can be challenging.  One of the biggest game changers for me is this clock. Not only does it have sound like an alarm clock (which I turn off), but it also has a light bulb. 30 minutes prior to your alarm, the light starts to come on. It starts very dim and gradually lights over the next 30 minutes until it achieves full strength, which you can control.  It's phenomenal.  If you ever have trouble after Daylight Savings Time, this solves the problem!

What my bedroom looks like at 6am before the real sun rises!

3. Utilize Jedi Mind Tricks. I call them Jedi Mind Tricks because it's fun, but also because it works.  Sometimes you just need to fake your brain out, especially if your body and mind are screaming for more sleep. So here are two JMTs I use: 

• JMT #1. Tell yourself “Just five minutes” - not as in "five more minutes of sleep", but rather "Just workout for five minutes. If after five minutes you are still tired, you can go back to sleep. There is only one time in the past four years that I can recall actually stopping working out to go back to sleep.  I feel so good that I just keep going!
• JMT #2. Tell yourself "Just get up, put your workout clothes on, and you don't have to workout.  You can sit on the couch!".  It's an easy way to get out of bed, without committing to actually breaking a sweat. Inevitably you start to feel pretty dumb wasting time sitting on the couch, and so the next time you go ahead and press play.

4. Prep the night before. Everyone tells you this, but it's because it works.  If you prepare the night before by gathering everything you'll need to get started the next morning, it makes it easier. You're not rushing around gathering everything first thing when your brain is still half awake.

5. Develop a morning ritual that you actually look forward to. Some people look forward to a cup of coffee, or reading the newspaper, or any other pleasurable habit. It's easier to roll out of bed if you have something exciting to do, so build time into your morning routine for something that you will look forward to doing.  Speaking of things I look forward to, I love Energize. It's a preworkout supplement from the Beachbody Performance Line, and it's an instant pick-me-up that not only makes me feel like a bada$$, but helps me push harder in my workouts. It tastes good, and believe it or not, I actually look forward to drinking it!

My favorite is Fruit Punch, but Lemon flavor is also tasty!

6. Write your Why. Why do you want to get up early in the morning? What are the goals you are trying to achieve? What are the results you want? Knowing your Why is one of the key steps towards helping you achieve your goals. Keep asking yourself questions about why you want your goals. Dig deep and get to the real truths, and write those down. You can have many whys. But writing them down, and reading them every few days, keeps them fresh in your mind, and helps remind you as to why you are doing what you're doing.

7. Get enough sleep. Yawn. You've heard this before, and you know you need to get enough sleep. And it can be extremely difficult, especially if you have young kids who don't sleep through the night! But it is so important for a ton of reasons. So look at your schedule and see what you can cut out. Maybe it's browsing on social media, or watching shows on Netflix. It can be hard to give up things you find pleasurable, but you NEED sleep. And if your goal is to get up earlier, then you need to go to bed earlier.

8. Set your alarm five minutes earlier. You've likely heard this one before, but again - it works.  If you get up at 7:30am to run into the shower to leave on time to get to work, then try waking up at 7:25am this week.  Next week, adjust it down five more minutes to 7:20am. Maybe do ten minutes of crunches and squats to start getting ready.  The following week, wake up at 7:15am, and so on.

9. Just press play. For me, the hardest part can simply be pressing play on the remote control to start my workout. It's easier to sit on the couch staring at a blank TV or scrolling Facebook for five, ten minutes, or more. If I take one simple action, which is literally just press the play button, then the workout starts and someone on screen is telling me what I need to do, and it's not that bad anymore. 

10. Limit/eliminate alcohol. This might be controversial. I love a good glass of wine (or three...), but we all know that alcohol is "empty" calories that don't fuel your body, and end up disrupting your sleep and make you feel sluggish the next day, or worse, hungover. So be the adult, and tell your inner toddler to hush up while you say no to alcohol. You'll start sleeping better, which makes it easier to wake up, and since you'll be well rested, you'll have a better workout. WIN WIN. (If you want to learn more about the impacts of alcohol and how to improve your relationship, I highly recommend reading This Naked Mind, and joining the FREE 30 day Alcohol Experiment.)

As an added Bonus, getting up earlier allows you to experience the quiet magic of being awake before the rest of the world, as well as the (real) sun rising!

Sunrise in West Palm Beach, FL

Skyway 10K run

One of the things I love most about racing is the experience.  In the past, I've always been trying to get a better time, be faster, not stop to walk, so I didn't really get to experience the race as much... I was rushing through it, not wanting to stop and admire what was around me.

Well, on March 3, 2019, I ran a 10K.  Which is monumental because the last actual run I did was a 2 mile slow run around my neighborhood on February 6!  So with no real running for the past month, I ended up run/walking a 10K, and finished only 10 minutes slower than my fastest 10K time. 

This 10K?  It's called the Skyway 10K.  The Sunshine Skyway Bridge is a four mile long bridge that connects St Petersburg to Bradenton. It's a massive bridge, and driving over is an awesome experience.  So when the opportunity to run over it arises, you jump at the chance... especially as the race is limited to just 8,000 runners.

It's an awesome experience.  And you know what's the kicker?  I ENJOYED every minute of it.  I allowed myself to stop.  To take photos.  I marveled at the scenery.  I told fellow racers that I liked their outfits.  I was not worried about my time.  When my body felt like it needed to walk, I let it walk.  When I felt myself recovering, I started to run again, and I reminder thinking "oh yes I am strong, that recovery was good and now I can run again!"

The race experience was magnified.  It reminded me of why I love running.

It was such a cool experience to run up a bridge... ascending 200 feet in the air over the course of 1 mile, and then running down. I finished that race feeling like a bad a$$, despite my slower time. 

I don't remember thinking "oh my god I'm dying", ever, and I recall distinctly in every other race that I had that thought at least once if not twice (or more!).

Now, just because I wasn't running doesn't mean I wasn't working out. I had been completed Beachbody workouts - in particular Shaun T's Transform 20 and The Masters Hammer & Chisel, so that likely kept me in fighting form. And I don't recommend that everyone run a race without any training... I'm saying that, for me, the experience of slowing down was almost as important.

I feel pretty awesome.  Maybe I'm done running long distances, maybe I'm not.  But whatever I am, I LOVED being OK with simply enjoying the ride.

Breakfast Hash - 80 Day Obsession compliant

I love breakfast potatoes. They are the perfect hangover food... or non-hangover food! Greasy, crunchy, soft, tasty, and sometimes with a few bites of pepper or onion. Perfect with eggs and bacon!  Or... sausage?!?

Yes. Using the recipe for Fixate Breakfast Sausage and sweet potatoes, I health-ified this breakfast hash, and it is TASTY.  Every bite I couldn't stop myself from saying "mmm", and honestly? I want more. Plus, for all those of you doing 80 Day Obsession, it is compliant with the meal plan!! It's one red, one green, one yellow, and one teaspoon per serving.

Keep reading for the recipe, or click here for a printable version.

Breakfast Hash

Makes four servings

2 green peppers, seeded

2 red peppers, seeded

1 large red onion

Mrs Dash All purpose no salt seasoning

4 tsp Coconut oil, divided

2 sweet potatoes

Fresh thyme, finely chopped

Fixate breakfast sausage

1.       Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit

2.       Finely dice onion and peppers into small pieces – I recommend ¼” – 1/3” sized cubes. Place on baking tray, add 2 teaspoons coconut oil and season with Mrs Dash, stirring to combine and coat.

3.       Place tray in oven and bake for 40-50 minutes.  Every fifteen minutes, stir. You want the peppers to start caramelizing, so you need to let the water bake off, which may take 30 minutes or more. As the water does cook off, start to stir more frequently so the veggies caramelize but don’t get crispy burnt. Remove when desired caramelization occurs.

4.       Finely dice sweet potatoes, place on a second baking tray, add 2 tsps coconut oil and season with freshly minced thyme. Stir to mix well and coat all sweet potatoes. Place tray in same 400 degree oven for ~30-40 minutes, stirring 15 minutes in. You want these to caramelize as well, and they will potentially take less time than the veggies.

5.       Meanwhile, make Fixate breakfast sausage according to directions, but exclude the oil when cooking – use a spray or water if needed.

6.       Use your red, green and yellow containers to portion 1 red (Fixate Sausage), 1 green (peppers and onions) and 1 yellow (sweet potatoes) into a bowl or glass container.  Stir together to make a “hash”.

7.       Enjoy!!!

40 days after 80 Day Obsession

One of the things you realize is that, while the program is called 80 Day Obsession, it's not just 80 days.  It's a lifestyle.  It's one you learn to do over 80 days, but it's something you can continue to do for the rest of your life... just as long as you continue implementing all the healthy habits you learned.

You can choose to go back to your old ways that you got you to the place when you started... or you can continue to do the things that you need to do to maintain what you built.  You can continue to treat yourself well, or you can eat the crappy foods that make you feel crappy.  It's your choice.

I have chosen to do my best with following the timed nutrition program.  I am eating in Plan C.  I continue to meal prep the meals I plan to eat while I'm at work, but I don't stress if there is an impromptu lunch or dinner out.  I don't always use the portion controlled containers.  I feel more accurate when I do, but I know that's not possible all the time - so I try to eyeball it, and I am putting good intentions into living the lifestyle.

I continue to workout, although I did take an entire week off to heal a pinched nerve.  I didn't feel one ounce of guilt.  I slept in, and I enjoyed it instead!  Because I know that I will eventually get back into it, and my body needed the rest.

Now, I am working my way through 21 Day Fix Extreme, one of Autumn's earlier programs.  But I definitely miss 80 Day Obsession... I miss pushing myself to the max for an hour straight.  I miss Autumn's crew.  I miss the Booty workouts :). I miss a huge group of people going through a program together for the first time!  We laughed at the same things, cried and yelled over the same things (ummm Cardio Flow anyone?!? LOL!), and we celebrated successes and helped each other with challenges. The support was phenomenal.

Good news is I have a (smaller) group of people who I continuously join for daily motivation, tips, and support. It's completely private to the members of the group, so you know you're being supported by good people who are trying to achieve similar goals.


What support system do you have? How do you stay accountable and motivated?

Day 80!!!

So it's Day 80 of 80 Day Obsession.

For the past 3 months, I have prioritized meal prepping, eating, sleeping, and of course, hour long workouts where I pushed myself to do more and get stronger. Every. Single. Day.

Looking back to Day 1 - it seems like such a long time ago, but it flew by.  Probably because I was not conscious for a lot of it, as I got more sleep haha!

But today was bittersweet. I'm dealing with all kinds of emotions.

• I never doubted that I could do it. I love working out!
• The nutrition plan was the toughest challenge, but once I got through the first month or so of getting used to it, it got easier to know what to eat and when... and how to eat out. And I learned that meal prep is key, as I have maximum control over how I feed and fuel my body.
• I learned so much about my mental state, and how I have such a deeper understanding of myself and how to achieve my goals.

But back to today - tons of others cried because they were proud and felt accomplished that they did it.  That's great, and I'm proud too. But I cried because I'm sad that it's over.

The last 80 days, I've worked out with the same group of people (the cast and Autumn) every single day.  It's not a workout DVD program where you replay the same workout over and over, hearing the same scripted motivational advice.

It's 80 workouts of learning about the cast, their quirks, their facial expressions, and hearing different motivational phrases, tips, etc... they became friends, even though they have no idea who I am.

And so now that 80 days is over, I don't get to continue to grow with them, because it's done.  I don't get to continue being friends with them.  I feel like I'm cut off, and that's where I feel lost. This program has seriously spoiled me... and that's why it made it easier to keep doing the hard things!

I am so grateful for the experience.  I am grateful that Autumn coached us through the entire 80 days. I learned so much. I got the Tough Love that I needed right when I needed it. And I shared the experience with 20,000+ others.

While my results weren't as dramatic as some others - 6 pounds and 6 inches lost - I had amazing results with my confidence and self esteem. I am treating myself better, both by the way I talk to myself and how I fuel my body.

This program has been a life changer.

I can't wait to do it again!!!